Maybe that's just my problem right?

I think that's my problem. I easily become interested in the feeble things... Because I always remember the little things people do for me.

Maybe that's my problem. I don't know if it's because I trust easily or if I see potential in everyone. I am scared though. I am scared of investing my time in something that might not even go anywhere. The way I see it is, the longer you stay in that position of being enlightened by something that is not even certain, the harder it becomes for you to pull out because you are in way too deep. You become attached, you start questioning how your life would be without them and you see all the "bad" scenarios if it ever had to happen... But nobody told you it would be that way. The reason why you start looking at things that way, is because you have not given yourself a chance to branch out and by that I mean be your true self. You have not given yourself a chance to become who you are meant to be and right now that is where I am stuck. I am on my way to finding myself and figuring some stuff out that I do not know how to feel when something like this happens.

I become hot/cold and that is not what I entirely want. I want to be certain. I want to be sure of what I am getting myself into.

I do not like uncertainty but that does not mean I do not like spontaneity. I am all for that. It's just that sometimes you do not want to get hurt and trust me when I say I have been hurt one too many times. I've probably become accustomed to it now. I expect it anytime sooner or later.

Or maybe I am expecting permanent feelings from people who only want temporary things. Maybe that's the answer. Maybe just maybe, I should stop searching for permanent things in temporary situations. But sometimes the temporary situations give us what the permanent might not even offer. Maybe I want that suffering or maybe I don't.